How Dealing with People Who Pretend to Love You
There are two kinds of people in our lives: those who love us, and those who love the idea of us. The difference sounds small, but it’s everything. One will water your roots; the other only wants your shade.
The hardest part? Pretenders rarely walk in wearing name tags. They look like friends, they sound like lovers, they act like soulmates, until one day, the mask slips. Krishna, the master of relationships and the most human of gods, understood this long before “ghosting” was a word. In the Bhagavad Gita and beyond,
he showed us how to separate truth from illusion, loyalty from performance. If you’ve ever felt betrayed by someone who claimed to love you, his wisdom is the antidote.
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1. Words fade, patterns don’t
Anyone can say “I care.” Krishna taught that a person’s nature is revealed by repeated action. Someone who loves you doesn’t just show up when it’s easy, they show up when it’s inconvenient. If their affection disappears the moment you stop being useful, it was never love, only a transaction.
Anyone can say the right thing once, but patterns reveal who someone truly is over time.
Here’s a breakdown of what that means:
Words
Can be impulsive
Often driven by emotion or guilt
Easily manipulated or used to cover up actions
Feel good temporarily, but don’t last without support
“I love you.” “I’ve changed.” “You mean everything to me.”
These are meaningless without consistent, aligned behavior.
Patterns
Are consistent over time
Show real priorities, character, and emotional investment
Reveal whether someone is genuine or performative
Can’t be faked for long
Someone who always cancels last-minute is unreliable.
Someone who disappears during your low points is not invested.
Someone who only shows affection when they want something is using you.
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The Wisdom in That Line
“Words fade, patterns don’t” reminds you to:
Observe, don’t obsess
Pay attention to consistency
Trust your gut, not just their mouth
Let time be the test
A Healthy Rule:
Never fall for potential — trust patterns.
2. Real love gives, fake love consumes
Krishna gave joy freely, but never allowed others to drain him dry. He knew that love should be a source of strength, not exhaustion. If someone leaves you emptier after every interaction, understand this: they’re not giving you love, they’re taking your peace.
3. Attachment masquerades as love
“Where there is attachment, there is suffering,” Krishna warned. Some people cling to you, not because they cherish you, but because they fear losing their comfort. That isn’t love, it’s dependency dressed up in sweet words. Love celebrates your freedom; attachment tries to chain it.
Such relationships can be very exhausting and heartbreaking, because when someone pretends, they play with your trust, emotions, and time.
1. Recognizing that this “love” isn’t real
Love isn’t just in words, it’s in actions.
If someone repeatedly puts you down, ignores your needs, or only remembers you when it suits them—that’s not love, it’s taking advantage.
2. Monitor their intentions, look at their actions more than their words.
Are they there for you even when you’re weak or broken?
Do they truly sacrifice something for you, or are they just around when it’s convenient?
— Always.
3. Learn to Create Distance (Emotional Boundaries)
When you realize they’re just pretending, it’s important to create emotional distance.
Protect yourself from being deceived again and again. Love isn’t love unless it’s true.
What Are Emotional Boundaries?
They are the limits you set to protect your:
Mental health
Emotional energy
Self-respect
Peace
They let you be kind without being used, open without being invaded, and loving without losing yourself.
Signs You Need Emotional Boundaries:
You feel drained after interacting with certain people
You over-explain yourself or constantly defend your choices
You absorb other people’s moods
You feel guilt-tripped or manipulated easily
You feel resentful, anxious, or “not enough”
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4. Speak clearly
If you have the courage and want closure, talk to them:
“I feel like your love is a facade. Are you really into me or are you just pretending?”
The answer may be skewed, but you’ll definitely get clarity.
5. Prioritize yourself
You’re not someone’s time pass, backup plan, or emotional sponge.
Prioritize your self-respect over love.
Because true love never hurts your self-respect.
6. Learn, but don’t be harsh
Let these experiences teach you, not break you.
When going into a new relationship, keep both your eyes and heart open—but never forget the lessons you’ve learned.
A simple truth:
People who pretend to love are often lying to themselves.
Note: Love betrayal when to understand when to avoid? Please let us know in the comments section below. Your opinion is very important to us.
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